creating a space for nuanced living
Blog
Hello, I am Rebecca. I have been working in areas of strategic change for more than 15 years. However, it is only in the last 5 that I have made a shift toward including the body, the holistic self and person in embodied learning. This moves me into the places I really care about – and it allows me to work with others creatively while being grounded in traditions of neuroscience, human learning, somatics,...
Oct 24th, 2015
Afraid of being caught up
I have been afraid to be caught up. It takes a lot of power to step into the work I need to do when I am caught up, on my own, and not enmeshed in other activity/people, or “things I like”. In this space, I have to do my work, which means taking a risk. I have been so afraid to step out of my family, and do my work. For some reason, it never felt safe. Like the floor wouldn’t be there if...
Aug 10th, 2015
Come back to the center and let go
Come back to the center and let go. I feel the pain of letting go. I come back to the center, of my dantien. I don’t over-identify with the pain. I let sensation move through me. I don’t rush it. I don’t resist it. I see how I would attack myself with judgment or fear. [that whole bundle] I feel the pain of what I am letting go. I feel the loss coming back to the center. I notice the intense...
Jun 22nd, 2015
Sacred Fatherhood
I love this concept of sacred fatherhood, and the celebration of father’s day as the celebration of fatherly love. “The spirit of Sacred Father lives in the men who choose to live in love and service, whether they are actual fathers or men who offer fatherly love.” – Quote from the New Dream Foundations The holiday is for good fathers and those who love in fatherly ways. 1. Who are then men...
May 19th, 2015
Small Groups Ending – My formation & my existential resistance
Small groups have played a very important role in my life. Getting me through some very tough times. As I look back, I can see that it has been with most all along the way. I notice now as I am finally doing my grief work of letting go.. throwing out old baby things, selling past treasured items, clearing my house of all unneeded elements and clutter so that I can move…I have my last night of small groups...
May 18th, 2015
Remember with grief
Remember… with grief. Just encounter, just be there. Don’t even label or name anything. It is about releasing, allowing the pain to enter. Letting our fibers open, letting the shaking in. Anything but complete and sacred silence, is a perturbation, an attention that is unwelcome. Be that presence that allows the person to let life in, pain more full, and be there. In that aliveness, of life...
May 15th, 2015
Sorry teachers – I’ve been hard to work with
I have been hard to work with. Smart and skeptical, not trusting of others, and not connected/knowing of myself. And expecting so much of others. Expecting them to meet me there? I have been super smart and not very trusting. Open minded, a young version of friendly, masking my blindness to how skeptical I’ve been. Wanting things proven to me. In terms of intimacy, I...
May 14th, 2015
Vocation inklings
There is a certain energy flow when you start to get towards vocation. People can feel it and pick up on it. Its as if there is something you are doing. And a lack of neediness. And it is attractive. It is love. Tapping that love. Your center. Tapping its unique expression. Your mandala resonates theirs. You tap it. Moving closer to the center. Outside in. And...
Apr 17th, 2015
Numinous
Numinous – 1. Supernatural, mysterious. 2.Filled with a sense of the presence of divinity: holy. 3. Appealing to the higher emotions or to the aesthetic sense: spiritual. Direct experience or encounter with a deep movement.
Apr 7th, 2015
Resilience
Resilience – 1. The ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens 2. The capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress Nourish – 1. To provide with food or other substances necessary for life and growth; feed. 2. To foster the development of; promote. 3. To keep alive; maintain: nourish a...
Mar 25th, 2015
The Unwinding Process
I am starting to feel my body again. It is not easy. I’m still unwinding. My arms are tight. They have been rock hard before. I know I hold something there. Feeling my hands… is significant, but now disconnected. Something between body and hands. Releasing my gifts? But in the hard, held part.
Mar 13th, 2015
Purpose
I think that my success is because of my intellect. Then I dismiss it, because I feel like my intellect betrayed me. It did not take me where I want to go. In my peak experiences, e.g. like my creating research program in Africa, I dismiss it, because I think of intellect. Alive… far away. Longing… unmet. * I look below it…. In the essence, it is not intellect. It is learning. Aliveness and...
Mar 10th, 2015
Draft Bio
Dec 9th, 2014
Poly-rhythmic Music-Dance
“From the philosophical perspective of the African musician, cross-beats can symbolize the challenging moments or emotional stress we all encounter. Playing cross-beats while fully grounded in the main beats, prepares one for maintaining a life-purpose while dealing with life’s challenges. Many sub-Saharan languages do not have a word for rhythm, or even music. From the African viewpoint, the rhythms...
Dec 2nd, 2014
Rule of life.
How do I know the value of my work in this crazy world? I recently had some experiences that threw into relief just how extreme, and different our lives and situations can be. It was jarring. Ridiculous wealth, hard working everyday contributions, social justice and radicals, small businesses – real people, good people do all of these. And the situations, differentiations are bizarre and shocking at times....
Oct 21st, 2014
Balance & Power
When you get to balance, and you realize you don’t want to keep all the doors open. You realize how much energy you have been spending keeping all these doors open. You realize how ineffective it was. How little was fueling anything. How unsatisfying, un-nourishing it was. And you have to let a lot go. Doing things, showing up in the spirit of the action requires all of you. Keeping the doors open is...
Oct 3rd, 2014
Hard realization
I am more passive aggressive that I like to admit. Into the ucky stuff.
Sep 29th, 2014
Connected but Detached, Great ideas on the airplane
I always have really good ideas, a really good view of things, on airplanes. I think it is because I am connected but detached. A natural state of integration and intelligence for me. I can remember this, ‘its like being connected but detached’. Able to have a few moments above, seeing connections, clearing away on the airplane. What I saw – a good shift in the next stage of my practice. How...
Aug 28th, 2014
Shifting is a practice; you don’t write about it, you practice it
You can’t really write about it; you practice it. – Family meeting
Jul 29th, 2014
What it is about
Its all about building workflow around my life. I guess that means I am in balance. It takes a lot of conversations, letting go, grief, patience, stopping, setting up new discovered practices, being lighter… Glimpses at vocation Senses of where the territories of power lie. Like a steady churn. Awakening, with all of me.
Jul 21st, 2014
I step into my service
I am not trying to get anywhere any more. I develop my service, that is enough. Life flows me toward it. I just reveal it. The time and effort is letting go of the rest. Participating in ways to show it. It is so different from ‘trying to create it’.