Self-Acceptance

Would you think I am crazy if I said that radical self-acceptance is found in hopelessness?  Spending all of our life our actions, oriented toward moving away from.  When we get to that place of what we are running from, when we arrive back here, and all we did, all our actions, all our skills, did not save use, remove us, from all that ultimately is in us.

That is where we find hopelessness.  There is no one to save you, no where to go, no distraction or activity.  Just this.  Just you.  Where and who you really come from… no longer external, removed.  Shadows revealed. The fullness of you.  Hopelessness.   No longer trying to control it all.  Clear that we can’t, and that, that is where the damage lies.

This is where we find radical self-acceptance.  Not some nice thing, but something that we let life’s river to push us to.  And somehow, its part of letting go.  Somehow required for self-acceptance.  For presence.

Sometimes I wonder if this is too much?  How much honesty can the world (i.e. I) can take?

…

I find this poem useful.

Refuge in What Is

Life feels crooked
when we want it straight,
and empty
when we want it full.
We sometimes get what we desire.
We sometimes lose
that which is most precious to us.
The future cannot be predicted,
and therefore it frightens us.

Taking refuge in what is,
we find relief from all our struggle.
No longer demanding something different,
we find a simple peace within.
Not trying to control events,
we preserve our energy.
We are no longer in opposition to life
so our strength is fully available
and our spirit is capable of all that is needed.

“Many of us were raised to believe that if we do everything right we can avoid pain, fear, and sorrow. We grow up believing that the unwanted experiences of life are beyond our strength to endure. We think that we must keep them at bay, or life will be too much for us.

The reality is that these challenges prove what has always been true: life is beyond our control. It does not yield to our preferences or shield us from our fears. The moment may come when the certainty of death and our helplessness to do anything about it will flood us with a mixture of terror and awe. Faced with this inescapable truth, we find the courage to allow people to become precious to us. We can allow ourselves to sink into the vulnerability of our own heart and to feel the sadness and grief, the sweetness and sorrow that naturally flow through these days.

Nestled in this deep, rich melancholy of life, we can remain fully available to the one in our care. Far from being beyond enduring, life find s room for everything in a heart opened wide.”

~William and Nancy Martin, from the Caregiver’s Tao Te Ching

…

What would happen if we lived fully walking towards it?