All these things I do first

All of these things I put in… to start to be able to find myself:

– my practice
— not falling behind
— exercising
— putting myself before anything in my day, structurally organizing my day

– the pause,before working
— not until that feeling
— that fullness…, letting the feeling be the guide of pace, direction, timing, letting go

– “A pitcher that is full can give more than one that is half-full” ~ DJK, wise mentor and guide into womanhood
— a new rationale on life, ignoring, burning up that which resists, kindly

– my physical space
— more than a container
— a reflection; accept it, build closeness, get intimate with its issues

– my ritual
— tea
— space cleaned up
— materials here & present
— I experience over and over I have everything I need, I can make my environment work for me, it is abundant

– my blog
— writing first (at times)
— mark where I am
— amplify ‘me’, seeing my right to exist

– specific objects
— in my house, my rooms
— marking, reminding
— discovered at moments when I opened
— seeingmy growth essence all around in my life, objects become sacred markers

– meditation, prayer
— every day, over and over
— a place in my home
— the center; the place I honor where I am; where I see what lies between me and my body

I continue, and I start to believe, take within me. I put trust elsewhere. In me, out of me; shedding into a connection. This felt sense, hours and hours into my life. Returning. I used to throw my center out into the world expecting others, events, etc. to hold it. It never worked; it was crushing. How could it work? I create the space and the connection. Essence lives there. It starts to free.