The Shadow is here

I am really in my wound of my father. Unwinding. Finding and feeling deep shame and rejection. The shadow coming out everywhere, and I am learning dancing, releasing, and on the steady slow steps of releasing my gifts. And subtle, and bigger triggering is everywhere. I see it with humility and love, but it is still there. My driven body has held and hidden a lot. I feel my pelvis release, as I let go, let go, let go, physically inside, from the deepest subtle muscles and tissues. I come to see so many behaviors I live daily in relational life, linked. I let go. Three months in. Your grip will go. Dear shadow, come in, come out to play. I shake and it’s new, but I love you.

I have so much wisdom around me, that helps me push it into vastness, Rather than collapsing into anxiety.

My Shadow-Shame

I am an artist
I am in flow
I have peers
And I can let them out

No more flying to the light
Me the moth
Banging and
Burning and
Singeing
And loving it
In a sick kind of way

I am an artist
I am in flow
I have peers
And I can let them out

I am safe enough to
Know a floor
Discovered just this weekend
The teacher says..
Feel the vastness inside
Feel the vastness outside
And I do!

And something… clicks.
And I find my wound everywhere
Duking it out
Wound – and vastness
Both in my body
As my body changes
And my mind shudders
And my memories start pouring out
And I just need to dance
Letting everything go

I am safe enough to feel myself, inside and out
People hold me
Not needing them
I move through
Not knowing what
As everything, everyone shifts
Me in the vastness, afraid, not afraid, and free, not yet free

I am an artist
I am in flow
I have peers
And I can let them out

Letting go of the teacher
Letting go of my father

Releasing the confusion between “me” and “them”
Restoring… the flow