Blindspot – oh, how humble.

I have a huge blind spot. I am just starting to be able to glimpse it. How much I lose myself in the teacher. I couldn’t let myself see it. I didn’t know how to let myself out. So, I couldn’t let myself see it. Too painful.

*

Return to me.
Being a good student is done.
That agony is over.
That abandonment is loved.

In my tight spot,
I start close in,
Releasing everything
(years to arrive here: birth, death, near divorce, loss, health problems, grief, family facing, letting go)
and discover that being with me
Ain’t so bad, even when I’m tight.

I can do this.
I find.
It’s certainly better than the rest.
I have enough to stand on now
I can see something in me

How humbling it is
That being ‘good’, ain’t so good

And all I can be
is me

*

How timid I am, on the other side of this.