Bittersweet

When I would ground, breathe into the feet, pelvis, shoulders, balancing front to back..
I would feel only anger.
How funny? Isn’t this when I am supposed to feel relaxed and at ease.
I clung for so long
I thought ‘people’ had kept me from myself
I am angry and let down continuously
But my anger was MY karma
My loss from me
Chosen before I even had a choice
Now, however, my choice is to let it go into grounding
Bitter-sweet struggle, I resist, but its already there
From anger into into preparation for death
Just me in the moment, alone
Life passing through my ground
Everything is a gift now
My daughter, my family, a smile, the breeze
Its so little about what I ‘thought’ / ‘felt’
What a surprise?!
How bittersweet
What a massive, massive letting go